Really though

Really though

(Source: gangstapug, via waitinginpurgatory)



some nice things my therapist wrote down for me that i think everyone needs to be reminded of at times

I literally reblog this every time it comes up on my dash and I will continue to do so forever.



some nice things my therapist wrote down for me that i think everyone needs to be reminded of at times

I literally reblog this every time it comes up on my dash and I will continue to do so forever.

(Source: adownpourofshelter, via waitinginpurgatory)

So the plus side of not having the will to be anywhere but bed when I’m not working recently has a plus side in that my under eye bags are less apparent than ever before. I’m actually not feeling like a total bag of shit today. 5/10. It could still go either way but I’m trying to keep it positive today which should score me higher than a five but I stayed in bed til 1:30 so that brought me back down. I shaved my legs in the shower and I feel good about that. I wish I could wash my work clothes but It’s the middle of the day. That would have been nice. Smooth legs clean clothes. I started a new book and it seems okay so far. It’s really biblical but I’m just replacing “god”and “Jesus” with the universe so it’s not too bad. I read last night that it’s a good idea to mentally unload a couple of times a day to keep the mind fresh. I also read that I should keep a bible with me at all times so I can read it when I feel sad or anxious so who the fuck really knows.

It’s quite possible it’s just killer pms.

I really want to go to the gym but don’t want to be the embarrassingly obvious person trying to sweat their way out of a small scale mental breakdown. I don’t know if it’s a mental breakdown any how. I’m definitely mentally broken-down but MENTAL BREAKDOWN seems generic while this is entirely personal.


- is an outlet
- validates the feels
- is a form of acceptance
- makes letting go easier

Can’t remember if journaling actually used to make me feel better but I’ll find out in a while I suppose.

Currently feeling: uncared for, unimportant, misunderstood and judged, resented, negative, weak, lethargic and congested.

Say they’ll always be here when you need to talk… Are completely unavailable and disinterested when you actually need to talk. Really makes me fucking wonder.



the quick brown fox


I went on a date last night and then you texted and asked, again, whether I would come there. Start our days with coffee, end with you making dinner. Forever. I feel myself tug towards yes and then I remember why it will always be no with you and I.

There are people in your life who are going to love you for all of the wrong reasons. They will love you for the best part of your face, the best part of you naked, the best mood on your best day, the best story you ever wrote, the best outfit you ever wore.

They are going to miss the scar on the underside of your nose from the time your older brothers dared you to run across a pile of logs. They won’t know that you fell on a hidden nail just as you completed the challenge. They’ll miss the scar on your finger, too from the time you were seven and closed a swiss army knife on it. They won’t understand that these are two of only a handful of things you can remember about your childhood. They’ll notice that you have great tits, but they’ll miss that your thumb tucks into their palm when you’re walking together and that your eyes have darker circles when a migraine is coming. They won’t know you get migraines. They won’t ask where the story you wrote came from, so they’ll never know that it was true. They’ll love it because it feels real to them. They’ll miss knowing the sweatshirt full of holes that they criticized you for wearing was your dads. You might tell them some of these things along the way, but they will remember the best things instead.

They will love your good moods, your energy, your sense of humor, but miss that you never turn to them, but rather to a shower or a pillow or the back of your throat to shed tears. They won’t ever consider you strong.

When the parts that aren’t your best come out, some people will shield their eyes as if you have just forced them to look directly into the sun for hours until their irises burn. They’ll silently make you promise to never show them that again. Those things are not to be shown. Be at your best so I can love you. I would love you more if only you never show me those things.

And you do not marry those people. You do not sit and sleepily drink coffee with those people. You leave those people and you remind yourself that they missed the better parts of you.

(Source: waxenneat, via lovelessramblings)




Honey Boo Boo: the new face of LGBT activism.

I’m so watching this shit. You have no idea.

@excellove we’re having viewing parties at my apartment!

Laughed out loud

(Source: mattchew03, via thechriscrocker)

attach a collar and leash to my mind this way it stops getting lost.